He sat up suddenly, leaning over the side of the bed. He turned back to me, just as suddenly, pulling the blankets away from my body.
“There’s blood on your clothes, Abby. Did he hurt you?” His voice was low, but urgent. He held me away from him, searching my face, my body, and a look of alarm on his face.
I shook my head, stilling his hands. “No, Chase. It’s Jake’s. He broke the window on my car, cut his hand I guess. He grabbed at me, but I drove away.”
Anger flashed in Chase’s eyes, deep and intense. I remembered the anger I’d seen in Jake’s eyes earlier tonight, anger directed at me, and I tensed in Chase’s arms. But when he spoke his voice was still calm.
“I’m not angry with you, Abby.” His arms tightened around me, pulling me back against him. I rested my head on his shoulder, taking a deep ragged breath.
“Can you tell me what happened?” He repeated the question he’d asked before.
“I went to see Jake, went to his house.” I heard him draw a sharp breath.
“You said I shouldn’t, that it wasn’t safe. But I couldn’t just talk to him over the phone.”
“I know, Abby. I know.” His hand rubbed my arm.
“Chase, he was...he really scared me.” I shivered, closing my eyes.
He drew me even closer. I thought if he could, Chase would somehow pull me inside of him, if it would make me stop shivering.
“I parked the car and got out, went to the house door. But he came out of the tower room, dressed in...well, dressed for a session. Wearing what he wore for our sessions.”
Images of Jake, the first time we had a session, wearing nothing but those thin gray sweatpants, riding low on his narrow hips, his lean body moving gracefully around the tower room...his arousal so very obvious. Before he blindfolded me, leaving me with only my imagination.
Seeing him tonight, in the same sweats he wore when he was with in session with me, coming from the tower...where Jane was. The betrayal was complete; he’d taken her back as his sub, and as his lover.
I sighed. “And then, well, it got ugly. Jane was there. He tried to tell me he loved me, told me that he’d send her away.
“He grabbed me, held me, pushed me against the door.” Chase was still rubbing my arm. He kissed the top of my head softly.
“And all the while, she was watching, standing in the doorway. Smoking a cigarette, watching us fight.” My voice had gotten loud, the anger I’d pushed down finally coming to the surface.
I turned to look up at Chase. “How could anyone do that? How could he betray us...me. Just like that? I don’t understand.”
“I can’t answer that, Abby. And honestly, I don’t suppose he can either.”
Chase sat with me until I started to fall asleep. I felt him pull the covers over me, his hands brushing the hair away from my face. He left the room, leaving the door open, the dim light from the hall spilling across the floor. I thought I heard voices, but I was too tired to care. I drifted into an uneasy sleep.
It was a long time later when I felt the bed move, Chase’s scent, leather and hay, and him, washing over me as he crawled beneath the sheets. His hands went around my waist, pulling me against him, my back against his chest. The hall light was out, the room dark.
He held me a long time but I knew he wasn’t sleeping. Finally I squirmed around, facing him.
“What is it, Chase?” I reached out, touching his face in the dark.
“Just thinking.” He shifted, rolling on his back, pulling me to him, my head finding that same safe comfortable place on his chest. I rested my hand on him, his skin warm beneath my fingers.
“It’s been hard, hasn’t it? I’m sorry, Chase. I’ve put you through a lot. I never meant for any of this to happen.” I felt him sigh, his chest rising and falling beneath my hand.
“Abby, it is what it is. Can’t change that, just like I can’t change my past.” He shifted, reaching to turn on the lamp by the bed. He looked down, tipping my face up to his.
“Where does this leave us, Abby? I don’t want to be the default choice here. I’ve never liked being second in anything.”
I met his gaze, the uncertainty in his eyes making my heart hurt.
“Chase, you’re not. I went to Jake to tell him it was over, that his lying wasn’t something I could handle.” I sat up, reaching out to touch his face.
“I love you, Chase Thomas.” I leaned over, kissing him hard.
He pulled away, his eyes serious. “I love you too, Abby Phillips. But where are we with trust? Do we have enough here to keep this going?” There was hesitation in his voice.
“I told you before, Abby, my past is my past. It’s not pretty. It’s who I was...not who I plan on being...not with you.”
“I know, Chase.” I put my head back on his chest, idly running my hands over his skin.
“I loved Jake. Or...I thought I did.”
I felt him take a deep breath.
“And your past is your past. It’s not your past I fell in love with; it’s the man I know now. The man who’s here with me.” I placed my palm flat on his chest, over his heart.
“The man who loves me, even though I put him through hell.”
His laugh was there, that familiar rumble that I felt more than heard. I smiled.
“You know, the better the horse, the harder they are to break.”
I swatted at his chest. “I’m not a horse!”
Chase laughed, rolling me onto my back.
“It was meant as a compliment. Some of my best friends are horses.”
He leaned down, kissing me hard before pulling away. A smile played around the corners of his mouth.
“You know, someone’s going to have to tell Celeste that she’s not first in my heart anymore.”
I returned his smile. “Well, she’s your horse. I suspect if I tried, she’d bite me.”
His smile deepened. “I suppose she would at that.”
I ran my fingers over his lips.
“It’s good to see you smile, Chase. It’s been a long time.”
“And it’s been a while since I’ve seen a smile on your pretty face.”
He buried his face in my neck, still smiling, his lips warm on my skin, kissing me softly, nibbling my earlobe, tracing a gentle trail down my neck.
Lifting his head, he looked at me in the soft light.
“And if I have anything to say about it, I plan to put a smile on your face and make sure it stays there. Starting now.”
He moved over me, his body pressed against mine. I ran my hands over his chest, looking up into his eyes. I let out a long breath, relaxing for what seemed like the first time in weeks, letting go of all the confusion and doubt that had consumed me.
“I like that idea. I like it a lot.”
He held my gaze for a moment longer. “So this is it then? This is us...together?”
I nodded my head. “This is us, Chase. Just us.”
Just us together was so incredibly beautiful. Chase was gentle and slow, his lips and fingers tracing slow lines over my skin, trails of fire that joined and blended, lighting a blaze deep inside me. There seemed to be no moment where he wasn’t attentive to what I wanted...needed...without saying a word.
When he entered me, it was every coming together we’d ever had, magnified. He held himself above me, his body warm, his scent filling my nostrils.
I ran my hands down his strong back, over the smooth skin, over the strong curve of his ass, leaving my hands on the sides of his hips, in that place where I could feel his muscles moving as he flexed his h*ps forward, slowly driving himself into my accepting body.
He held my face between his hands, his eyes never leaving mine, as he rocked himself back and forth. I was lost in the depths of his brown eyes, not really aware of anything but the heat of his body and the feel of his c*ck filling me.
I saw him smile, and I smiled back. “What?”
He kissed my forehead. “You. You’re humming. I’ve never heard you do that before.”
“I don’t think I’ve ever been this relaxed before.”
He cocked an eyebrow. “You’re not supposed to be “relaxed”. I must be doing something wrong.”
I shook my head. “No, Chase, what you’re doing is exactly right.”
And he did do everything exactly right, for a very long time. I soon gave up humming for short cries, exchanged those for screams and moans, as Chase took me on this journey with him.
When I came, the first time of many, I clung to him, my body far from relaxed, every muscle taut, pulling me toward my release. He held himself above me, his own cli**x held back, letting me toss and thrash beneath him. I felt like my body wanted to rise off the bed, the only thing keeping me from flying away Chase’s weight.
I finally opened my eyes, looking up at him. There was a smile on his face. I traced the corner of his lips with my fingers.
“Hey...thank you.” My voice was soft, a bit hoarse from screaming.
He kissed my fingertips. “You’re welcome.” He hesitated, still watching me.
I cocked my head. “What?”
“You. And this...” He shook his head. His voice was rough when he spoke. I had the impression he was holding back tears.
“This...where you go, where I send you. That I can give you this, just by being with you, by making love to you.” He shook his head.
“What you do to me, Abby.” His eyes were soft. “What you do to me is the most wonderful thing a man could ask for.”
And he buried his face against me then, his body tense, moving quickly inside me. And he took his release then, his body trembling, crying out as he filled me with his heat, his tears warm on my neck.
It was a long time before we fell asleep, both of us unable to get enough of the other, both of us finally sensing there was nothing between us, nothing to keep us from loving one another.
The sunlight through the windows woke me. Chase must have pulled the drapes open after he got up.
I stretched, the cat grumbling as my feet unearthed him from the covers.
“Get up, lazy cat. There are things to do...mice to catch, bugs to chase...all that nifty stuff you get to do here.”
He looked at me, yawned and curled up on Chase’s side of the bed.
“Who are you talking to?”
Chase was leaning against the doorframe, jeans and shirt already slightly dusty, smelling vaguely of hay and horse.
“The cat. Why are you up so early? And why didn’t you wake me?”
I sat up in bed, holding my arms out to Chase. “Come wake me up...” I smiled, but Chase stood in the doorway.
“Nope, not today. I have other plans...for you.” He crossed the room, pulling the blankets off the bed.
“Come on, get dressed. I’ve got something to show you.”
The barns were cool and shady in contrast to the blazing sun outside. I’d brought an apple for Celeste and she accepted it without hesitation. It had taken her a couple weeks to get used to me, but she seems to have forgiven me for replacing her in Chase’s heart.
Chase led me down the row of box stalls to the other end from Celeste’s stall. There was an unfamiliar whiny and stomping coming from one of the stalls.