When Jackson went over to collect more food and drink for the two of them, Alyssa felt the last walls of resistance fall away when he first approached one of the neighbors, who was holding a newborn baby.
Jackson beamed as the woman handed over the infant, who was wrapped in a pink blanket, and then Alyssa watched as he admired the child. His strong arm looked so massive cradling the baby as he grinned at something the woman said.
When a man approached the two of them, Jackson held out his free hand and Alyssa could see that he was offering his congratulations. And when he handed the baby back, her heart melted because the look in his eyes reflected disappointment.
Jackson was made to be a father. If their child was a girl, she’d be his little princess. If it was a boy, he’d be his best friend. It was time that Alyssa told him the truth. She wouldn’t make any more excuses.
He’s had a bad day at work.
I’m not feeling well and need to sleep.
I’ve worked a double and my feet are killing me.
The lovemaking is perfect and I’m warm in his arms. I don’t want to ruin the moment.
Excuses! Alyssa had sworn she wouldn’t make them. She had failed both herself and Jackson. A week passed and the right opportunity never presented itself. It seemed her resolve at the bonfire had quickly been forgotten. Yes, Alyssa knew she was betraying a lack of spine by not telling Jackson the truth, but it wasn’t as if she could just blurt the words out.
She dreaded his reaction. How would he feel about her once he knew? Would he consider her the worst of liars? Would he be so angry that he wanted nothing more to do with her? So she made up excuses, telling herself that she was waiting for just the right moment, though she knew there had been plenty of good moments. And she’d chickened out each time.
Tonight. She would do it tonight. Just as soon as her shift was over, she would tell him that they needed to sit down and talk. It was the right thing to do, after all. It was easy to spout off to others about courage. Facing problems in one’s own life wasn’t at all simple. Alyssa knew that only too well. No matter how much fear she had of telling him, she was going to do it.
As the sultry July night came to a close, she was surprised that Jackson hadn’t shown up at the door. Something must have come up, because he usually was there at work to make sure she got home safely. Her apartment was now ready. She should move into it, but when she’d told Jackson, he’d said they would get her moved soon, and then he’d changed the topic the next couple of times she’d spoken of it. The truth was, she didn’t want to leave yet.
When the bell on the saloon door chimed and Cam walked in, she gave him a smile and went over to greet him. “You’re here late, Cam. Is everything okay?”
“Can we talk, Alyssa?” The frown marring his normally cheerful face had her instantly worried.
“Of course. Let me grab my purse and you can walk me out.” She turned and walked to the back room, overtaken by a sudden impulse to stall. She didn’t know if she wanted to hear whatever Camden was about to say. The man surely was a bust at poker, because right now his face told her that she was about to hear something unpleasant.
With hormones sending her emotions all over the place, she wasn’t up for bad news. The courage thing again. She’d rather keep her head in the sand than face real-world demons. But she couldn’t hide forever. She grabbed her purse, plastered a false smile onto her face, and walked back out front, where she found Camden leaning against the bar.
“What’s wrong, Cam?”
She was now determined to face whatever news he was bringing, and if it was bad, she’d decided she’d rather just hear it and get it over with.
“This really should wait until the morning, Alyssa, but we’ve never been too formal with our attorney-client relationship . . .”
Her stomach tightened. She hadn’t wanted to get her hopes up, but she had. Not that long ago, he’d told her things were looking as if they were moving in her favor. From his expression, however, it appeared he’d been wrong.
“Just tell me, Cam. I don’t want to drag it out,” she said, straightening her shoulders and preparing herself for the blow.
“The money is gone, Alyssa. I’m so sorry. Your ex-manager was found yesterday in his prison cell . . . dead, and the funds that were frozen have been confiscated by the government. It seems he was much more of a crook than we knew, and the big guys are taking their money first. The man was too weak to face his accusers, too weak to spend his time behind bars. He decided to end it before a judgment could be brought against him.”
Even though this was what Alyssa had expected him to say, hearing the words made her knees go to jelly and she had to fight to stay on her feet.
She’d known she wasn’t going to get the full amount back, but she’d been hoping for something, just enough to get by while the baby was little. Yes, she knew that Jackson was wealthy—beyond wealthy, actually. But that was his money. That the two of them had shared a night together that had left her pregnant didn’t mean he should now be responsible of taking care of her and a baby. Well, technically it did, but still . . .
She was enrolled to start community college in the fall, finally finding a passion in life. She was going to be a music teacher. Playing piano gave her joy beyond any other pastime, and they had a hard time finding music teachers in Sterling, so she already had an internship at the middle school while she was finishing her degree.
Looking at Cam, she felt terrible. This was Jackson’s brother, and he was so good to her, as was Jackson and the rest of his family. She should have already told Jackson that he was going to be a father. Now that the case was lost, would he think she was telling him because she wanted his money? Oh, the web of lies was finally ensnaring her and she was terrified of the consequences.
“Thanks for not making me wait, Cam. I appreciate it,” Alyssa said. She was surprised by how strong her tone was, by how well she was managing to remain standing.
“I really am sorry, Alyssa. I’ll keep checking into things over the next few months, but at this point, I’d have to say the odds of any of the women he’s ripped off getting even a dime back are slim. This man . . . if he can even be called that . . . was a real piece of work.”
Cam was shaking his head as he spoke to her, trying to catch her eye. Alyssa wouldn’t look at him. She was too afraid she’d fall apart if he was too sympathetic, and she absolutely didn’t want that to happen.