Clay. I’m clay in his hands, ready to be sculpted and turned into something of indescribable beauty because those hands love me. They are mine.
A small smile curved my lips. Joy blossomed inside, melting into every muscle and sinew and vein. I was worthy of this and more. Fear wasn’t going to defeat me. Not anymore.
I was done being afraid—no matter how many times it crept back up again.
Gabriel’s slow, deliberate footsteps echoed against the marble floor as he came towards me. “There she is. There’s my goddess.” Gabriel reached me. His hand caressed my calves. “I love you, Emma.”
My smile deepened for a moment before contracting.
“Can you do something for me?” he whispered.
“Anything.”
I felt a ribbon slide against my ankles. My muscles tightened in response.
“Trust me, Emma.”
I obeyed with only the barely imperceptible hesitation, blissfully enamored of his touch as it skimmed across my calves. “I’m ready.”
“Almost. Not quite.” Gabriel gentled me with patient strokes for as long as I apparently needed them. “Better?”
“Yes.”
“Are you ready to proceed then?” He asked the question only because he knew the answer. He needed to hear the words, my words, the ones that would allow him to do what he pleased.
I nodded and then caught myself. Words. “Yes, Gabriel.”
“Very good.” I didn’t have to see his smile to feel it shine over me.
I stood perfectly still while Gabriel wrapped my legs as he had my arms. Each satin loop bound me tighter and tighter. There would be no hopping off my pedestal. I would be forced to stand there until Gabriel saw fit to lift me down.
My captivity suddenly excited me beyond words. I didn’t want to leave. Ever.
So again, how did this happen exactly? How did I go from being a block of marble to something much more malleable? The telling was going to do little to clear it up, but I was willing to try.
Three weeks ago I’d run into Gabriel Gordon, billionaire extraordinaire who also happened to be my first love. He’d wooed me aggressively, going so far as to move into the apartment next to mine.
Gabriel easily slipped past my guard, upending my whole life until I couldn’t imagine it without him again. He’d accomplished this so quickly that I had no choice but to admit to myself that I’d never really gotten over him.
Gabriel brought color back into my colorless world. He coaxed me to experience the world with him, to let myself smile. Although wary, I’d been willing to try again with Gabriel. Those first few days had been wonderful beyond belief. I’d found myself captivated and charmed by his eagerness to please me. Gabriel made no secret of how much he wanted to be with me, but he was bound and determined to be a gentleman.
Which meant no sex. Not even a kiss on the lips.
That had been tough to deal with, and there were a few times I’d wanted to manhandle Gabriel and have my wicked way with him. Still, I’d understood why he wanted to take that tact. Seven years before Gabriel and I had slept together on Prom night—even though he wasn’t my date.
It didn’t go well.
At that time, back when I was just a girl, I couldn’t even comprehend Gabriel’s interest in me being serious. Although he’d been pursuing me for a month beforehand, I’d erroneously believed he just wanted another notch in his belt. My mother worked as a maid for families like his—I’d seen firsthand how the young men of the households treated girls like me. The idea being that just because their fathers paid the salaries, the young daughters were part and parcel of that transaction.
I refused to ever be up for sale. Just as I refused to ever let someone use me for sex, sport, or pleasure. Look down at me if you will. Use me? Never.
Even if that wasn’t enough, I’d seen Gabriel go through a large portion of the female population during four years of high school. Not all of them students either. When he turned his sights on me, I was convinced it was only because he hadn’t gone slumming and wanted to give it a try.
I’d often lament the fact that if only the school district line had stopped a mile east, I wouldn’t have had to go to Pine Woods and be subjected to the difficulties that comes from being a handful of poor students in a wealthy school district.
Just in case you hadn’t yet guessed by my tone—it wasn’t fun.
Like I said, Gabriel pursued me for a month senior year, refusing to leave my side even when that meant he only talked to himself while I sat next to him mutely. As much as I didn’t show it, the truth was I’d been aware of him all throughout the four years of school. Staring at him discreetly, I saw something more than a spoiled, cynical, beautiful boy.
Safe in my desk behind him, or further back in the hallways, I wondered why someone so sought after, so adored, seemed so alone. Behind the easy smiles, I saw glimpses of incredible sadness and volcanic anger. I responded to it even though I didn’t want to. So when Gabriel confronted me outside of Prom, drunk and angry that I refused to dance with him, I lashed out. So did he.
And somewhere between anger and hurt, our lips found one another. Our bodies naturally followed suit.
I gave Gabriel my virginity and he gave me his heart. Only one of us recognized the exchange.
After hours of lovemaking and whispered confidences, I slipped out of his bed in the dawn hour, convinced I’d just made a terrible mistake. I steeled myself and refused to think of anything other than my future goals—perfect GPA, scholarships, college, degree, and white collar job. None of that was going to happen if I didn’t get my head on straight. I didn’t have time for love, especially with a boy who’d never see me the way I saw him.
Now I knew how very wrong I was.
When Gabriel showed up on my porch, flowers in hand and smiling like I’d never seen him before, I crushed the heart I didn’t even know I carried in my hand. I turned Gabriel away and doomed our love before it had a chance to bloom. Trampled but not destroyed, our feelings for one another lay beneath the surface for seven long years.
Until my company moved into Obelisk Pointe—Gabriel’s building. In a ridiculously clichéd twist of fate, Gabriel and his assistant got into the same elevator that I was in—despite my attempts to avoid crossing paths. We reconnected, I agreed to be his date for a fundraiser that evening, and then we met his ex Embry.
How soon I was to find out that Embry and Gabriel weren’t all they appeared.
Despite the terribly awkward encounter of tripping over his former love and the anger it roused in me, Gabriel managed to salvage the night. We stuffed ourselves with Chinese food and lively conversation. He then spent the next day moving into an apartment next to mine, crashing through any socially-accepted boundaries and somehow making it all okay with me. We shopped for his place, enjoying ourselves tremendously, and even went to the zoo the next day.
Our outing was cut short and little did I know the real reason as to why. I’d assumed it was business. After all, billionaires didn’t become billionaires on a whim or by following conventional business hours.
Five days after meeting Gabriel again I found out that I’d assumed wrong.
As easygoing as he was, my newfound boyfriend refused to have me over at his penthouse. He declared it a place of unhappiness, which explained why he was putting it up for sale. When I got a text from him to come over, I was surprised to say the least. Even so, I made my way over and ended up in the biggest fight of my life.
Gabriel was drunk, belligerent, and in agony. He lashed out at me, accusing me of not accepting him and just seeing him as an immoral pile of cash. I had to admit he wasn’t too far off the mark. Somehow we made up, but the words festered between us.
Then Embry happened.
She contacted me the next morning and led me to the private engagement she was having with Gabriel. One I didn’t know anything about. My complicated obsession had lied, crying off lunch with me because he was swamped with work.
Just thinking about it again made me want to kick Gabriel. Thankfully for him I wasn’t in any position to do so. Gabriel, attuned to me as always, sensed my sudden anger. He paused in the task of wrapping my calves and kissed the tender spots above both knees. It was only after I relaxed that Gabriel continued.
I’d confronted him that afternoon about Embry and their assignation, mentally and emotionally ready to cut any ties we’d managed to develop. I was and maybe still am ruthless that way. I wasn’t going to be used, nor was I ever going to let myself be just one of many women.
I’d rather spend an eternity alone than to love someone more than he loved me.
It was then I found out secret lunches were the least of our problems.
Embry helpfully shared that my sweet, charismatic Gabriel had a sexual predilection for dominance and sadism. She’d been his submissive and was nearly his fiancé. The penthouse he didn’t want me in? Well, that had been their home.
Not only that, but Gabriel didn’t just bump into me accidentally the Friday before. He’d been aware of my presence in his building since day one. After seeing me in passing, he’d gone home and ended his relationship with Embry. From there, he had bided his time, waiting for Embry to move out of their penthouse before approaching me.
As if all of that weren’t enough, Gabriel was having me followed. As Embry had eloquently phrased it “That’s what people like us do with the ones we love.”
Embry expected the confession of Gabriel’s D/S needs to be the catalyst to tear us apart. Both of them were surprised to find out I wasn’t totally ignorant to their lifestyle. I’d had a Domme for a roommate in college, so I understood more of Gabriel and his needs than not. That I could forgive and even understand why he’d wanted to keep it quiet—especially considering his father had made it a point to regularly beat his mother and Gabriel.
What I didn’t want to forgive was his lying.
So I flipped over a dining cart and ran like hell for Obelisk Pointe. I bitterly regretted letting myself fall for the brooding angel of my past. Our brief, glorious, magical union was in the past for a reason and I should’ve never let it cross into my present. I’d wanted to quit my job, to hole up somewhere and cry a river until it flooded the city.
I did neither of those things. Despite Gabriel catching me on the sidewalk, I managed to hold my head up high and make it through the rest of the day as if nothing had happened. I was very good at that game. I would patch myself up and then move on as if Gabriel Gordon had never entered my life. I’d done it once before. I could do it again.
That evening Gabriel waited for me outside of our apartment complex. I managed to lock myself in my apartment, even though Gabriel had a key. He banged on the door, I told him to go away, but eventually I let him in. From there, Gabriel answered my questions and I forgave him. Oh, and we had hot sex. Simple, no?
No, it wasn’t. Then again, when do love stories ever unfold simply? Especially between two people as strange and unconventional like us?
It’s messy. It’s blood. It’s life.
“There! All done.” Gabriel breathed, “You asked me how I see you. Does this answer your question, my precious Emma?”