Gabriel’s tongue stole a taste before sitting up. His lopsided grin didn’t quite match the assessing gleam in his eyes. “Still like the story—normal ending and all?”
“Like I said—it was a beautiful tale.”
“Glad to know you enjoyed it, baby.”
I reached out and cupped his firm jaw, charmed beyond all good sense. “I liked it so much I wish it was real.”
“Who says it isn’t?”
Before I could say another word Gabriel settled his body on mine and kissed me until I couldn’t see straight. His hand fisted my hair, tugging harder the longer we kissed. I gasped in pleasured pain and he immediately let go. Gabriel kissed his way down my body, tasting me intimately until I cried out his name. He then made use of the box on my nightstand.
The next hours were passionate, toe-curling, can’t-remember-my-own-name kind of lovemaking. Gabriel made me explode so many times—on my back, on my knees, on my side, and over him. Gabriel loved me hard, soft, and everything in-between. It was better than anything I could’ve ever imagined.
And normal. Completely normal.
I couldn’t deny my disappointment.
The end of contentment begins…
I grimaced, knowing what I was going to ask and wondering if I was more a masochist than I ever suspected. I kissed his chest, savoring the taste of Gabriel’s skin. Fear branded me. I didn’t want to face my future or how I did or didn’t fit into his.
Maybe I could save it for another time?
“Emma, soon enough I won’t be able to walk.” His arms closed tight around my waist. “Have mercy upon my weary body, love.”
A miserable sigh seeped out of me. Avoidance seemed to be the best choice for happiness. It just wasn’t my way. Stupid me, right?
“Oh, don’t be sad, baby. We’ll be limp-legged together.”
Knowing there was nothing for it, I plowed straight ahead. “Gabriel, I need to know more about Embry.”
He tipped my chin up with one finger. His gaze no longer appeared sleepy and satiated. Distaste crawled across his countenance. “Do we really have to talk about her? Here? Now?”
“Yes.” Gabriel let go of me. I reluctantly sat up. Pulling the sheet over my chest and shifting in the bed until I sat next to him, I said quietly, “Here. Now.”
“What do you want to know?”
I had Gabriel there for the asking and suddenly I didn’t know what to say first. What I really wanted to know was how she had been his perfect match until he decided she wasn’t. Until Gabriel decided he wanted me and not her. And as long as I didn’t know the how then the why would eventually be my undoing.
Insecurity wasn’t my favorite emotion. So I started simply. “Are you afraid she’ll talk?”
“About what?”
“About your…needs.” I still couldn’t put a proper noun to it. His sadism and need for dominance was a shadowed room that I hadn’t been invited into yet. Maybe never. After all, Gabriel had gone against his nature and tried to pass as normal.
How could that ever hope to work?
“My…needs?” he asked with a teasing lilt. “As in my fondness for…you know.”
“Yes.”
Gabriel shook his head slowly. “I’m not worried. She knows the consequences.”
The ruthless glint in his eye made me shiver. Gabriel appeared like living granite. He looked so hard, so devoid of compassion, of weakness. It was an alien expression, one I didn’t usually see on his face.
“She wants you badly, Gabriel. Rejecting her leaves her very little to care about.”
“Embry’s love for me isn’t greater than her love of self. I have things on her as well. Trust me—she won’t talk.”
“What kind of things?”
Gabriel’s smile lacked warmth. “I’ll never tell unless she does.”
I let out a nervous laugh. Did he think I was nosy and gossipy? I mean, of course I was curious, but that wasn’t why I asked the question. I never wanted to really know about any of the women he’d been with. And I definitely would’ve preferred to have never been acquainted with the last one.
“I don’t want to know specifically. What I mean is how did you get anything on her?”
“I don’t go into any relationship lightly, Emma. I knew everything there was to know about Embry before anything progressed.” When I cocked my head in question, he clarified. “I had her thoroughly investigated.”
“I see.” My silence lasted only for a beat or two. “Do you investigate all of them?”
“Yes.”
I had to ask even though I strongly suspected the answer. “Even me?”
To Gabriel’s credit, he didn’t look away. “Especially you.”
“What do you mean?”
He reached out to play with my fingers. “I needed to know if you were with anyone—seriously that is. Were you married? Did you have any children? Were you free to be with me? Thankfully the answer that you were a workaholic with very little time for a social life came across my desk.”
I still wasn’t sure why I had yet to smack him or toss him out of my apartment. Really, my reaction to this invasion of privacy was way too lax.
“I don’t like it.”
“I know, Emma. I know.”
I worked my jaw. I loved Gabriel, had always loved him on some level, but I didn’t have to like all his methods.
“That’s how you knew I was single. I just thought you could see right through my lies.”
A tiny smirk teased the corner of his mouth. “There was that, but you also make a terrible liar, Emma. Really you do.”
I nodded, unable to deny that particular truth. Growing up where I did, I learned very quickly to despise the regularity in which people with money told lies.
There was the annual “I never told you that you’d have a raise next month. I said I’d consider it. I’m afraid it’s not in the budget.” Or “I don’t remember saying I approved your time off for this weekend. I’m afraid you’ll have to cancel your plans.” And of course “My husband would never have tried to take advantage of you. It’s not in his character. Please leave my house immediately.”
In case you’re wondering, these were the lies my mother had to suffer. The ones I had to experience didn’t bear mentioning considering the gravity of hers. In short, I’ve despised outright lies, lying by omission, and obfuscation of any sort ever since the first grade.
Gabriel asked suddenly, “With everything that I’ve done, do you think I’m a creepy stalker? I know it’s not the normal way of things, but is it creepy?”
I seriously considered the question, wondering if he was after a glib reply or truth. “I’d kick the shit out of anyone else who’d do even half of what you’ve pulled.”
“My guts thank you for not kicking them. Seriously though—answer the question.”
“Sometimes. Usually. More than normal. Definitely not healthy.”
“I think so too.”
“Then why do you do it?”
Gabriel sighed. “Because I can’t help myself. Rather, I don’t want to help myself when it comes to you.”
Judge me if you will, but my heart responded in a dark obsessive way. I understood exactly what he meant. We were both caught up in something strange and probably unhealthy, but it didn’t matter like it should have. Nothing mattered except to keep this going.
“How do you know I won’t end things with you over how you’ve handled this?”
“I don’t.” He gave me another smile, this one tinged with sadness. “I’m baring myself to you in the hopes that you won’t.”
“Would you let me go?”
He sat there silent for long moments. “I already answered that today. Do you want me to say it again?”
“I’ll do anything short of murder...” was what he said earlier about keeping me. I believed him, but it wasn’t enough. I needed something more concrete. I needed to know how far Gabriel would go or not go. I had to know if there were limits to Gabriel’s ruthlessness.
What I needed to hear might have the power to tear us apart.
“Would you do something to Embry if she doesn’t cooperate?”
Gabriel grew very still. “What are you really asking me, Emma?”
How I kept my voice steady was beyond me. “I think it’s pretty clear.”
“You’re asking me how far I’ll go to keep you. You’re asking if I’d physically harm Embry to keep her quiet.”
“Yes,” I whispered, mentally twisting hard at the question. “Would you, Gabriel?”
How could I ask this of him? How could I not?
FOUR
Gabriel’s blank face revealed nothing of his inner thoughts. He was like glass. See-through but empty.
“You’re asking this because of my—needs as you put it—right? Because I like things rough, because I enjoy inflicting a certain amount of pain and control on my partners—and only on those who are receptive to it I might add—you think me a monster who would beat or murder my ex. Do I have the right of it?”
I blinked back a few rogue tears. “I guess you do.” My mouth quivered. Nausea roiled in my stomach. I took a few breaths, trying to beat back the urge to vomit. I already knew the answer. Why did I push this far?
What exactly was I trying to prove?
“I just need to hear you say it.”
Gabriel exploded. “Jesus, Emma! If you really suspect that I’d do something like that then why the f**k would you want to be with me?”
It was agony to hold Gabriel’s wounded stare. I felt like the worst Judas in the world. Condemned, but unwilling to alter my course I pressed on. “Would you?”
“I’m not a brute, Emma! I’d maneuver her into a position of my choosing, but I wouldn’t ever hurt her or anyone the way you’re thinking. That’s not who I am. Believe what you will about me but never that.”
Gabriel looked at me with something akin to soul betrayal. It settled deep in my gut, making it harder to draw breath. We were nak*d in bed together, but my doubts created a chasm that I didn’t know if I’d ever really be able to bridge again.
“You know I had to ask.”
“No, I don’t know that. I thought you’d know me better than to think I’d ever do something so wrong like that.”
The words rushed out of me, brittle and overwhelmed. I wasn’t lashing out so much as trying to lance the wound from earlier.
“I don’t know you at all! The boy I knew was someone I didn’t believe I could trust. The man I thought you had become was just pretending to be someone he wasn’t. I don’t know what to think, Gabriel, about you and her. I really don’t.”
“I wasn’t lying about what I felt about you.”
“I know…I believe you…it’s just…” I stumbled about until finally I asked in frustration, “Who are you really, Gabriel? Do you even know?”